How to Be Genuinely Happy for Other People -The Muse

How to Be Genuinely Happy for Otherbei People -The MuseHow to Be Genuinely Happy for Other PeopleIm going to reveal an unflattering truth about myself in the hopes youve experienced the same thing and thus wont judge me. When people tell me their good news or great fortune, Im happy for them- on the surface. Internally, Im focused on what their good news means for me. When my friend scored an awesome summer position, I was annoyed because I still had no plans. When a co-worker received rave reviews from our boss, I was jealous and resentful, thinking I deserved just as much praise.Im not proud of this selfish side. And I suspect Im not the only one who has it (and wants to change it).Luckily for us, my friend Lindsey has mastered the art of being happy for other people, and she told me how she does it. Instead of thinking how someone elses success competes with hers, she focuses on how it is also hers. In other words, Lindsey takes that urge to make it all about her and makes it posi tive.For example, when I told her Id published an article in a prestigious magazine, she remembered all the times shed given me feedback on my work or helped me choose topics. She reflected on the days Id been stressed about hunting down sources and shed patiently listened to me. She even thought about the times she helped me pick out what to wear to interview people. I knew you couldnt have accomplished what you did without me, so I got to feel proud, too, she said. Not that she said any of this to me- she just gave me heartfelt congratulations- but by thinking about all this to herself, her excitement felt more genuine and she didnt have to deal with her jealous side.Lindseys strategy is especially helpful in the professional world where it can feel like your colleagues successes come at the expense of your own. Defeat this thinking by coming up with ways youve helped them, say, score that promotion or impress the higher-ups- did you give her feedback on a project? Help him placat e an angry client? Maybe you never help her professionally, but you frequently talk about her personal life while you eat lunch together, giving her a respite from working that re-energizes her when she gets back to her desks. Its impossible to find anyone whos entirely self-made- we all rely on and benefit from the presence of other people.Before Lindsey told me her trick, I was probably 75% happy for other people and 25% jealous. Secretly owning a little bit of their success, however, has made that ratio 95% and 5%. Its a win-win I dont feel schwimmbad for my pettiness, and the person whos told me his or her good news get a super enthusiastic, genuine reaction.